Top 5 AFN Commercials of All-Time

by Pete Bell December 01, 2016 2 Comments


When I came down on orders to PCS to Schweinfurt, Germany I was pretty stoked. I had never been to Europe before, and all of the guys in my unit that had spent time overseas were quick to tell me how awesome it was. The food. The travel. 'You will love it' they said, and they were right. But there was one thing that they forgot to mention, AFN Europe.

Ah, the Armed Forces Network, the only cable television service available for those unfortunate souls stuck in the barracks overseas. On the one hand it's free, but nothing in life is really ever 'free', so it does come with a cost: AFN commercials. 

If you've never seen an AFN produced commercial I would best describe them as a cross between 70's porn (don't lie, you know you've seen it) and a middle school play. None of them are actually selling any products, they are mostly PSA's for things you should and should not do while stationed overseas, for example:

Do: make sure the dishwasher is full before running it. Do not: leave your spit bottles laying around at a party for someone to accidentally drink (yes, this is an actual AFN spot, they spent real money on it). 

So without wasting anymore time passing judgement on the production quality (or lack thereof) of the fine folks at the Armed Forces Network I'll let you be the judge. Whether you are a first timer or about to go on a nostalgic walk down memory lane I hope you enjoy this selection of my top-5 best AFN commercials....


5. Hercules Power of Attorney



4. Chicken Knows Best



3. Bird Flu



2. Baaaaam, I'm a styrofoam cup, yo!



1. Squeakers the OPSEC Hamster

Pete Bell
Pete Bell


2 Responses

Doc Fogelsong
Doc Fogelsong

May 12, 2017

OPSEC Hamster, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but we all know that Bess and Triple 7 and I had the best AFN commercials OF ALL TIME.

Roger Haley
Roger Haley

April 09, 2017

LOL, awesome. I enjoy your blogs very much.

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