You wipe a spot of mustard from your chin as you choke down another bite of your soggy FRG hot dog. A few feet away a gaggle of Privates are engaged in an epic battle of cornhole, and just like at the range, none of them can hit the broad side of an MRAP.  'Jesus, they're wearing their issued boots.'

To your left the wives are smiling and making sure the Joe's know that everybody gets one of Becky's chocolate chip cookies, but only one. As you look at your watch for the 7th time, you notice the ketchup that has soiled the front of your impossibly-soft Inkfidel MandoFun tee. You conduct a quick check of your five's and twenty-fives, use your finger to lift the offending condiment from your shirt and lick the tomatoey goodness off.

Publicly, 1SG scolded you for wearing this shirt. Privately, he asked where he could buy one. You and he both know the same thing: Funishment happens in and out of the military, but as long as you have your trusty Mandatory Fun Shirt from Inkfidel, you will be alright.