Your heart races as you blindly fumble your way through your pack past a bag of beef jerky, bbq sunflower seeds, and an empty can of Cope. Frantically you search for your Surefire, praying that the batteries aren't dead. With each passing second he's flexing on you, moving in for the kill. He moves with the smoothness of water flowing down a murky canal, cloaked in the inky darkness of the cloudy Iraqi night. You are in his world and he knows the terrain well, if not for catching a glimpse of him as the moonlight briefly broke through, you would already be dead. Finally you locate your surefire and hit the button. Nothing. Fudgecicles. Just then a blood-curdling squeal tears through the night not ten feet away..It sounds like a 13 year old girl that has just bumped into the Biebs at the mall...You recognize it immediately, McNeil. You rush towards his cries, tripping over your platoon mates as they rise up in their fart sacks. You find McNeil cornered up against one of the vehicles, a small red-lens light in one hand and a half-eaten piece of wheat snack bread clutched in the other. The enemy sits not a foot in front of him, dimly lit in the red light, ready to attack. You motion for McNeil to stay still as you begin to bring your rifle up, but then realizing you are much too close and not wanting to expose your position, you know you must find another way. You remember your training, all of the combatives moves, but you are not about to put hands on this nasty bastard. That's when it hits you, "You can hit him with a bat, you can hit him with a stick. You can poke him in the eye with your eye-pokin' stick'..Killing the Baby Seals! the cadence that taught you everything you need to know about CQB is about to save McNeil's life. You grab a large stick off the ground, and as you begin to rain blows down upon the hapless camel spider the cadence plays in your mind...'Way up north where the cold wind blows we're running out of money and we're running out of gold. So now I earn my living killing the baby seals...or in this case, Camel Spiders...God I hate this place.'
Printed on premium American Apparel 50/50 poly-cotton blended tees. Made in the USA. Your new 'old favorite' tee or your money back.
You wipe a spot of mustard from your chin as you choke down another bite of your soggy FRG hot dog. A few feet away a gaggle of Privates are engaged in an epic battle of cornhole, and just like at the range, none of them can hit the broad side of an MRAP. 'Jesus, they're wearing their issued boots.' As you look at your watch for the 7th time, you notice the ketchup on the front of your impossibly-soft Inkfidel MandoFun tee. Conducting a quick check of your five's and twenty-fives, you use your finger to lift it from your shirt and lick the tomatoey goodness off. Publicly, 1SG scolds you for wearing this shirt. Privately, he asks where you bought it. You and Top both know Funishment happens, and as long as you have your trusty 50/50 poly-blended Mandatory Fun Shirt from Inkfidel, everything will be alllllright.View full product details
You rip at the warm pouch of Chili Mac with your teeth like the King of the Jungle tearing into an out-of-shape, fat-body gazelle. Blood streams from the corner of your mouth as the industrial grade packaging finally gives way to the goodness inside. You plop down on the ground and lean up against a tire to enjoy your kill, wishing you were anywhere but here. But hey it could be worse, MRE scars fade, you have half a pack of Pines in your pocket, and you didn't end up with the Veggie Omelette like Steinhaus. Nope, this deployment is coming to an end, and in a few short weeks you will be back home, rocking your new criminally-soft, printed in the USA 'Rock or Something' tee from Inkfidel while drinking an ice-cold beer. Things could be a whole lot worse.View full product details
We all know this guy: he steps out on patrol without a magazine. He can't find his NVGs. He has a pizza box full of cigarette butts under his bed. He married a stripper.
Now you can show your love for these shining examples of military bearing with the 8 Up Military t-shirt from Inkfidel!View full product details
It's 0330 Sunday morning, and you are in formation. The freezing rain stings your neck, your body shivers and you burp shopette whiskey. You look left, right, rage in your eyes... Where is he? Where's the Blue Falcon? The buddy fucker that punched a cab driver? Lucky for him you are wearing your favorite shirt, a vintage style Blue Falcon tee from Inkfidel. The super-soft 50/50 poly-cotton blend snuggles against your skin like a thousand Afghan puppies, and the reinforced collar hugs your neck as if to say 'I am here for you, everything will be alright.' Feeling relaxed you decide to let the other guys clip his wings, you've still got some whiskey waiting at home.View full product details