My Girl's a Vegetable

As you run pass the DFAC the smell of delicious, sizzling bacon excites your nostrils and reminds you how starved you are. A few ranks ahead McNeil is making some weird half-goose, half-trumpet grunting noise as he struggles to stay in formation. Everyone knows that sound, for it is the death cry of the fall-out. Just as McNeil begins to slide to the right for his grand exit, SSG Briggs pops out to call cadence, and SSG Briggs is old-school.  'My girl's a vegetable!' booms Briggs as he begins to call out the most inappropriate cadence in the history of PT, 'She lives in a hospital!’ The company, as if overcome by the power of one million Pixy Stix, echoes the call back with a resounding thunder. The men are energized, alive, the pounding of their feet in perfect rhythm as they pick up the pace. Hell, even McNeil falls back in step, he may be trailing a 7-inch string of snot, but damned if he isn't going to make it. Yes, SSG Briggs gives not one Berghdahl about EO, SHARP or any of that other namby-pamby nonsense, he is a motivator of men, and the men love their vegetables.


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