Killing Baby Seals

Your heart races as you blindly fumble your way through your pack past a bag of beef jerky, bbq sunflower seeds, and an empty can of Cope. Frantically you search for your Surefire, praying that the batteries aren't dead. With each passing second he's flexing on you, moving in for the kill. He moves with the smoothness of water flowing down a murky canal, cloaked in the inky darkness of the cloudy Iraqi night. You are in his world and he knows the terrain well, if not for catching a glimpse of him as the moonlight briefly broke through, you would already be dead. Finally you locate your surefire and hit the button. Nothing. Fudgecicles. Just then a blood-curdling squeal tears through the night not ten feet away..It sounds like a 13 year old girl that has just bumped into the Biebs at the mall...You recognize it immediately, McNeil. You rush towards his cries, tripping over your platoon mates as they rise up in their fart sacks. You find McNeil cornered up against one of the vehicles, a small red-lens light in one hand and a half-eaten piece of wheat snack bread clutched in the other. The enemy sits not a foot in front of him, dimly lit in the red light, ready to attack. You motion for McNeil to stay still as you begin to bring your rifle up, but then realizing you are much too close and not wanting to expose your position, you know you must find another way. You remember your training, all of the combatives moves, but you are not about to put hands on this nasty bastard. That's when it hits you, "You can hit him with a bat, you can hit him with a stick. You can poke him in the eye with your eye-pokin' stick'..Killing the Baby Seals! the cadence that taught you everything you need to know about CQB is about to save McNeil's life. You grab a large stick off the ground, and as you begin to rain blows down upon the hapless camel spider the cadence plays in your mind...'Way up north where the cold wind blows we're running out of money and we're running out of gold. So now I earn my living killing the baby seals...or in this case, Camel Spiders...God I hate this place.'

 Printed on premium American Apparel 50/50 poly-cotton blended tees. Made in the USA. Your new 'old favorite' tee or your money back.


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